OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
