Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
