So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
