he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
