No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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