i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
