my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
