have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
