Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He better not be in your backpack
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
