I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
