She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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