I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
