So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Can Purell be used as lube?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
