Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
