I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
