so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
