office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize