either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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