I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
