At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
