Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
