oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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