I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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