This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
