if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
