They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
