everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
