i may or may not be watching the land before time
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
