I wanna bring you to show and tell
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
