It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
