I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
