It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
