im six kinds of drunk right now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
