Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
