Slut skills are useful in every country.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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