I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
