My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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