problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You took a bar mat shot.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
