I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize