I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
