I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
