To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
