yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
