Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
