I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize