never play flip cup with pint glasses
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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