erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
