i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
