I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize