so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
