Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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