Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize