Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
