Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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