I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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