you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this will be a night to untag.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
