My first STD was from a foam party
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
