Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
