Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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