I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
