You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize