I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
