You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
