It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
