who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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