Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
