I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Randomize
