she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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