So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize