It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
