Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
