Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize