someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
