does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
