At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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