Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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