so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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