I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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