I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
