she looked like the bat from fern gully.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So much rum. So many feels.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
