YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
PANTIES FOUND
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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