At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
