i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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