Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
