Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
