You really coming over, don't trick.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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