Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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