I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize