so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
